Contribution by Jacques Carr
There is nothing more time consuming than searching for Halloween costumes. Children, after all, are incredibly picky. They want to be Batman one week and Superman the next. I am even more so. I cannot decide on whether the skimpy witch outfit is too revealing for a so-called overweight mother of four, or whether I should go with the schoolgirl outfit instead. It is a difficult choice because I am so attractive, and many of the other fathers will likely be leering at my voluptuously large frame. It is also very hard for me to find clothes in my size, which has often been compared to planets and the like, mostly as a compliment.
Nevertheless, finding the right Halloween costume is paramount for any mother looking to be single after a divorce which will happen as I find the right man, a man I will lure with my skimpy outfit. I already have many in my repertoire, but adding one always becomes difficult as many of the shops that have good Halloween costumes are not safe for children to be in, as they are adult themed. In any case, my children are wise beyond their years so I will simply have to make do. Whenever I leave the house I am terrified at the possibility someone will steal my costumes, so I always set up my AllHomeSecurity home security alarm before I leave.